Over and Out

This is my last post here for a while now. I might return later but I might not as well. I thought foreign exchange is my thing but analyzing what I have done so far, I must say it's not. I thought I have to return to trading retail forex sometime in the near future, but I don't think I'll do it. I know it's not going to work for me. Beside that, someone very important to me told me forex is an addiction to me and I should stick to stocks. I believe she is right. She is my mother.

The forex market taught me a lot of skills that I could never apply within the market successfully. However, they did help me with the stock market a lot. I'm not saying I did excessively well but I did well even though I couldn't make any money. So what I couldn't, I didn't lose any either when millions of people lost when the market crashed. Maybe I was lucky, I don't know. I believe if I stick to something for long enough, I'd be successful some day. But forex won't allow me that opportunity without putting more funds after every few months. My thousand dollar account survived for a year only because I didn't trade as much as I should have. Nevertheless, it was a great experience.

I have spent way too much time on this blog, first on designing it and then on maintaining it. Now, it's a very crucial time of my time which will decide where I'm heading to. So, I have decided to let a lot of things go and focus on a few important ones. I'm not a very good multi-tasking person and trying to do a lot of things at once makes everything worse.

Now, it's time for me to do something in life, which I should have started doing six months back but like I said, I was too busy with a lot of things. I have had a great time here with all the followers and friends but life doesn't work having great times all the time. There are opportunity costs in everything and to get something, we always have to give up something. You guys keep doing what you believe in and if you already haven't, you will prosper sooner or later. My best wishes are always with you all.

Month End Statistics

	Jun 2011	May 2011	Apr 2011
Composite:	73.14	74.89	78.73
Change:	-2.33	-4.87	-1.33

Month End Statistics

	May 2011	Apr 2011	Mar 2011
Composite:	74.89	78.73	79.29
Change:	-4.87	-1.33	65.63

Blue Server

Like I said I was busy developing a website for fund management for the last few days. Yesterday, I suddenly realized I'm running an outdated server, around two and a half years old. It's from the time when I used to work with it for fun. I had to update the server. So I started creating a new one from scratch. After 12 hours of work, I end up creating Blue Server, available on SF. It's a stable, fast, lightweight, secure, and portable WAMP server. It has got just everything I need. Anyway, since I created something useful, I released it to public. I know hundreds of other WAMP servers are already available but those are full of useless features whereas Blue Server is clean and that's all I need.

That's How I Waste Time

-0.54%

Just like... story of my life. Yesterday my account finally blew with the last usdchf trade. This trade lasted for 3 months and my account, for 1 year and 2 months. I was wrong and what have I learned? Nothing! Trading forex is difficult. But I won't give up, I can't give up. But I can't re-invest in forex either at this time. If I was profiting from stocks, I could have put some money in my account. But after the stock market crash, the market hasn't gone up. In fact, it's been going down for a while now. During last couple of weeks I think, the market fell a lot more than it went up. When it went up by 2% a day, it went down by 4%. That's how it's been moving. I have left around $20 in my forex account now and my stock portfolio is down by more than 10% now and unrealized loss now stands at 128k (around $1800). I have gathered another 150k for investing in stocks but I'm not planning to use that anytime soon. I have kept margin as a backup but now I'm keeping this money as well.

So, what have I done for the last one week or 10 days? I was busy creating a website. It's for my trading business where people who have invested in my so called "fund" can view status of their account online. To be honest, it's one of my best programming work so far. I'll take it online after a few months, 14th of August to be specific. If I get tired of waiting, I'll take it online on the 1st of July. Other than that, I haven't really done anything productive or worthwhile. I slept only when I felt tired, whether it was 10 PM or 10 AM or 3 PM and woke up whenever I have had enough sleep, whether it was 4 hours, 8 hours, or 10 hours... a complete routine-less life. I'm getting tired now, tired of everything. Basically, I'll start losing my mind again and I can feel it. I know I sound stupid but I'm not good at explaining my psychology.

Anyway, I made a short story long I guess. My next plan is to start off with GMAT again for another round. Hopefully this time, I'll actually take the test instead of just fooling around. I need a couple of weeks though, to set the stage up so that I can study comfortably. I guess that's how I waste time.